Elmo's world

We always said that we weren't going to let the babies watch TV until they were at least two years old. Then, when they turned two, we said we weren't going to let them watch TV until they ASKED to watch TV. Well, this winter it finally became necessary to watch TV. Necessary for US, the parents, to have the kids watch TV.

It started with The Wizard of Oz, which we bought on DVD. First we watched it with them. Then we watched it with them again. Then we watched all the commentary and special features. For a while there we were watching it every day. Kids screaming, don't know what to do with them -- let's watch The Wizard of Oz!

Then, for some reason, we started watching Sea Hunt. Sea Hunt, for those not in the know, is a TV series that appeared from 1958 to 1961, and afterwards in syndication. I have no memory of it, but Rocket Boy liked it. A channel that we get (I don't even know which one) shows Sea Hunt regularly, so Rocket Boy DVR-ed it to watch with the kids. Sea Hunt stars Lloyd Bridges as a scuba diver who has all sorts of adventures and always beats out the bad guys.

When we turn on the TV to watch something we've recorded, our local PBS channel comes up first, because that's what we watch the rest of the time. And it shows Sesame Street from 6 pm to 7 pm every night. So when Rocket Boy would turn on Sea Hunt after dinner, up would pop Sesame Street.

Finally, we gave in. We went over to the dark side. Now we watch Sesame Street almost every night. We usually turn it on between 6:15 and 6:30, but never later than 6:40, because at 6:40 it's time for the "Elmo's world" segment of the show. Baby A and Baby B love Elmo more than anything else in the world.

"Do do duh do, do do duh do, Elmo's world.
Do do duh do, do do duh do, Elmo's world.
Elmo loves his goldfish, his crayon too.
That's Elmo's world!"

(Rocket Boy and I sing this theme song constantly, unable to get it out of our heads. Sometimes we sing "Lemur's world" instead, which annoys Baby B (who has a stuffed lemur).

Elmo's world is a small, claustrophobic room drawn in crayon. The other inhabitants of the room include a goldfish named Dorothy, a small desk with a drawer in it that Elmo often fights with, a computer that Elmo gets email on, a TV, a piano, a window with a shade that Elmo also often fights with, and a door to the real world. Outside the window is a blank space inhabited by a very strange man named Mr. Noodle.

Each episode, Elmo announces that he is thinking about something. Today it was feet. Then Dorothy the goldfish has a question. Today she wanted to know how to jump on one foot. Elmo says brightly, "Let's ask Mr. Noodle!" He cajoles the shade into going up so he can ask Mr. Noodle. Mr. Noodle is tall and goofy looking, and he always answers the question (in mime) wrong two times and then finally gets it right, with help from some off-camera children who criticize everything he does. Then Dorothy wants to ask someone else (Dorothy is a smart fish), so two or three children are shown answering the question (correctly), and then Elmo asks the question of a baby, who never knows the answer.

There's more to the segment -- the TV and the computer get involved, and a relevant visitor comes to the door (today it was a foot). And at the end Dorothy always wants to sing the (topic of the day) song. Today it was "Feet feet feet, feet feet feet, feet feet feet feet feet" (to the tune of Jingle Bells). And then we sing the Elmo's World theme song again and then it's over.

In my opinion, the best part is Mr. Noodle. When Elmo says "Let's ask Mr. Noodle" I shout out, "Don't ask Mr. Noodle! He doesn't know anything!" but secretly I am longing for my daily dose of Mr. Noodle. I just looked him up and he is played by the highly-regarded actor and clown Bill Irwin. That makes sense. He's just so wonderfully ridiculous.

As we watch, I think of all the things we could be doing instead -- making puzzles and going for walks, reading books and singing songs (except that I'm not allowed to sing anything right now -- every time I start to sing a song, Baby B shouts "DON'T SING THAT! SING ABC!" so then I have to sing the alphabet song, and that gets old).

But then I look at my little boys -- they're just so in love with Elmo. I think it's OK.

And then it's 7pm, time for The Zula Patrol and we turn the TV OFF!

Rocket Boy says we should point out to the twins that the Republicans want to cut off all funding for Elmo's world. No time like the present to start them thinking like liberals.