Merry Christmas

This has been a very up and down Christmas season, what with Newtown and all. Yesterday, Christmas Eve, I was really feeling down -- probably mainly because I was coming down with a cold. But it wasn't just that. I was feeling overwhelmed. Christmas sure is different when you're the parent! It's wonderful... but it's also kind of not so fun. So much work, so few rewards. All day I kept wanting my mother to walk into the house and take over.

Or... you know, I think maybe I just wanted her to walk into the house. I wouldn't have minded doing all the work if she could have been sitting in a chair nearby, chatting with me. Maybe that's all it was. I just missed my mom. Hmm.

This is the first year the kids have been TOTALLY cognizant of the holiday, and it's also the first year (since they were babies) that we've spent Christmas Eve at home. Every other year we've been visiting family, and we've hung stockings in a hotel room. It was important to me that we do it at our house this year, but it meant that I had to make up all the family traditions, since none were in place. It also meant that because I was dumb enough to put some presents under the tree yesterday, all day long, Baby A said, "Mom! Can we open the presents now!" and all day long, I said, "No, not until Christmas," and Baby A said, "But I want to open them NOW!" and I said, "You can open one present tonight before you go to bed, but we open the rest tomorrow," and Baby A said, "No! I want to open them NOW!!!!!" and so on and so on, all day long.

I started wondering why I was making him wait. Why not just have Christmas now? I had no idea that Christmas involved being so dictatorial, so, well, mean. But I hung in there. We had homemade macaroni and cheese for dinner, which was a big hit, and everyone ate a lot of it. Then we let the twins open one small present each, little toy motorcycles, and then we packed everyone in the car and drove off to the Wizard of Oz house, which was all lit up and receiving guests. We tried to take a picture with Glinda, but Baby B did not want to participate.

Then we drove around and looked at lights for a while, while Baby A took a much needed nap (he hadn't slept at all that day, too frantic about the presents), and then we went home and opened one more present: new warm fuzzy throws (from Kmart, don't knock it), for them to use as blankets on their beds. These were a huge hit.

It took them a long time to settle down for the night, but finally their room was quiet. And then Santa Claus came.

(That's a scorpion sticking out of Baby B's stocking and a rattlesnake sticking out of Baby A's. Very desert-y.) Santa also left presents under the tree,

including a new small train set and the big one, a ROUNDHOUSE, which they have been asking for all year.

Still feeling gloomy, I went to bed without reading any Christmas stories. I woke up around 7:30 and the house was quiet, so I got dressed and then crawled back into bed with Dickens' "Christmas Carol." Right around 8 am, I heard stirrings in the other bedroom, and pretty soon two little boys came out and it was time to see what Santa had brought. It was a merry time.

Almost all the presents were appreciated (the exception being new warm jackets -- I suppose it's a bit like getting underwear for Christmas). I gave Rocket Boy some tea and a new shirt, and he gave me a really nice stone tortoise that I like a lot. The twins have been playing happily all morning -- QUITE a change from yesterday. And my mood is entirely different too, thank goodness.

I still miss my mother so much, but it feels like she's with me today.