Missing Ridgecrest

I've been feeling nostalgic about Ridgecrest the last few days. Thinking about what it will be like to leave, what I'll miss about our life in the desert. No, we're not about to leave. We've started to think about it, started to look around for something else to do, somewhere else. But I wouldn't be surprised if we're here a few more years.

But you can be nostalgic about something before it's over. I think nostalgia is the sense, the realization, that you care about something -- and that it will not be with you always. You can have that sense long before the actual loss takes place.

I've mentioned before that our local newspaper has a regular feature called "Valley Voices," where they interview some local person of note. They always ask the person what their favorite aspect of life in Ridgecrest is, and the person always says "the people -- everyone's so friendly."

This would not be my answer.

What would my answer be? What do I like -- or even love -- about my current home?
1. The enormous sky, day and night.
2. Desert tortoises and the opportunity to get to know them.
3. The barren desert mountains.
4. The nearness of nothingness.
5. The absence of almost everything.

We did another Palmdale shopping trip today -- despite the big fire raging just south of Palmdale -- and despite the fact that we didn't really need to buy anything. We just couldn't think of anything else to do, especially with the twins, and especially since it's 105-107 every day. But the whole trip just seemed so pointless. We drove there. We went to Kohl's and bought cheap clothes for all of us. Then we went to Target and bought stuff.



And then we went to Trader Joe's and bought stuff. Food stuff, but still just stuff.



When we got home, after we had dinner, and visited the tortoises, and put the boos to bed, and unpacked all our shopping bags, and put away all our new stuff, Rocket Boy and I watched our latest Netflix -- "Encounters at the end of the world," which is a Werner Herzog documentary about Antarctica. Wow, what an amazing film. I highly recommend it to everyone. So interesting, and such amazing scenery.

Antarctica reminded me of Ridgecrest. Not the details, but that "end of the world" feeling and the attraction of it. I imagine I will probably never go to Antarctica -- never say never, but it's not likely. But it looks interesting -- the scenery and the people. The filmmakers interviewed a linguist there who talked about how when he arrived he realized he'd found his people -- PhDs washing dishes, all these super smart people -- some of them actually doing the science and others doing menial jobs. Everyone seemed to be a philosopher, and everyone (at least according to Werner Herzog) is expecting the human race to end soon, due to global warming.

I thought Ridgecrest would be like that, but it isn't, it's a refuge for conservative Christian weirdos.

But when you think about it, that's not really so different, is it? I mean, it's a different belief system (most people in Ridgecrest don't believe in global warming, for example), but still, you've got all these people in the middle of nowhere thinking about philosophy and/or religion.

Eventually we'll leave here, we'll go live someplace where stuff is readily available and people are able to lead "normal" lives, so there isn't as much need for heavy end of the world thinking. But I can see clearly that I'm going to miss this life. Even though I hate it so much now.