Saturday, May 5, 2012

DISGUSTING!

On each episode of Sesame Street there is a "word of the day" -- such as humongous, separate, etc. Around our house, the current word of the day (or week, or month) is DISGUSTING, or as Baby A and Baby B also like to pronounce it, SCUSTING!

And what is it that is so disgusting and/or scusting, you might ask? Well, everything really, because everything is now described as a BOOTY BUTT.

Note: We did not teach them this term. I may have used the word "butt" around them once or twice, OK maybe even more than that, but not "booty," at least not this kind of booty. They learned it at DAYCARE. It is DAYCARE's fault, not mine.

So here we are walking to daycare the other day, boos in the stroller, me pushing. A perfectly normal man is approaching from the other direction. Baby A spots him. "Euww, look at that booty butt!" he says.

"Shhh," I whisper urgently. "Don't call people booty butts!"

"DISGUSTING!" Baby A and Baby B chorus, as the man passes us, looking a bit puzzled. It is all I can do not to slug them. I want to run after the man, to explain that these comments have nothing to do with him, but he's long gone and we're late for daycare, so off we go. I hope we haven't ruined his day.

Note to everyone: Do not ever feel bad about something a small child says in your general direction.

At home, absolutely everything is a booty butt, and thus scusting, such as whatever I make for dinner, videos, toys, the mail, the laundry, all the human members of the family, and of course Pie Bear, the biggest booty butt of all. It seems to me that this must be limiting the twins' language development, since they no longer have to remember the names for anything. We're all just booty butts.

(Baby B has another scheme for not remembering the names for things. He says to me: "Mommy, do you know what I have at my painting house?" I say, "No, what?" and he says "Think about it." So then I have to suggest something, and then he gets to decide whether that's what he wants to have at his house or not. I have not figured out how to get around that one yet.)

Of course, what is considered the most disgusting right now is what comes out of people's booty butts, i.e., poop. Baby A and Baby B have always been interested in each other's diapers, and later potties, but now it's turned ugly. Whenever either of them uses the potty in this productive way, the other one hurries over in order to say "SCUSTING!" This makes me kind of sad. I suppose it had to happen, it's a normal part of development, but still. Just one more way in which they aren't little boos anymore.

Of course, today a friend stopped by the house to give me something, and while she was standing in our entryway, talking, Baby A unceremoniously walked up, pulled down his pants, and proceeded to sit on the potty. (Yes, our potties are in the entryway -- the bathroom is too small for them -- so it wasn't really Baby A's fault, but he COULD have used the real toilet in the bathroom. But no. Complete lack of modesty.)

"Oh dear," I said, embarrassed both for Baby A and for Donna. "Maybe it's just pee."

"No, it's poop!" Baby A corrected me. "Wipe me, Mommy!"

"I'll take that as my cue to leave," Donna said, leaving. I wiped Baby A's booty butt and then we had to clean out the potty and flush it.

"DISGUSTING!" said Baby A, and from the other part of the house I could hear Baby B's answering call: "SCUSTING!"


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