OK, you're right, I live with my husband and children, and I love all three of them very much. But they aren't the only people I love. My former top favorite person in the entire world was my mother. She's gone now, but my two sisters are awfully high on the list. I dote on my little boys, but they're so difficult, so much work. Rocket Boy and I get along OK, but not as well as we did pre-twins. And after all, I've only known him for 12 years. Compare that to 51 years for one sister and 49 for the other.
Yet, since I don't live in the Bay Area, where my sisters live, I don't see either of them very often or for very long. When I was younger, I would stay with my mother for weeks at a time. Can't do that anymore, now that I'm a family of four. Most of the time I have to rent hotel rooms. I have to keep my husband and children entertained. I have to pay for a pet-sitter for Pie Bear.
The first summer we were in Ridgecrest, I did take the twins to the Bay Area for a month -- rented a condo and saw one or both of my sisters every day. But that was very expensive and rather a drain on everyone involved. The twins are no longer adorable babies, they're rowdy little boys, and I wouldn't inflict them on anyone for a month, even if I could afford to.
Fortunately there's email, and the phone.
When my sisters come to visit, or I visit them, I'm shocked by how little time we get to spend together. The twins demand so much of everyone's attention. When my sisters and I took the twins to the park on Saturday, Nancy and I couldn't even talk for five minutes without Baby A biting Baby B and causing a total meltdown.
How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives (Annie Dillard).
The people I spend my days with now are Rocket Boy and the twins -- especially the twins. I love you, I say to them, as we read stories or dig in the dirt. I know that for now, I'm probably the most important person in their lives.
Always enjoy your blogs, but this one really struck a cord! we are about the same age (I am about 2 years behind - age 49, twin boys 17-months); Lived in and around Palo Alto for about 10 years(moved there from the UK). Then met my now husband who lived in Arizona. Got too excited too quickly and made my move to Arizona when I should have waited for my husband to find a way to move to California which he would have done then but will not do now. So now our family of 4 lives in Arizona. I related to much of what you write. And of course really enjoy your writing.
ReplyDeleteWhat I forgot to say is that in my previous life I worked as an account manager for Siemens and the only hospital in Ridgecrest was one of my accounts. So I would go there periodically to visit arriving the day before my meeting. I'd check into a hotel and look around town a bit before going back to my room to sleep. So when you write about Ridgecrest I kind of know what you are talking about.
ReplyDeleteAnd when you say your adorable babies have turned into rowdy little kids, I totally relate.
Thank you so much for writing this, Anahita. I kind of felt bad about writing what I did -- I sound so ungrateful for all the wonderful things in my life. And that really isn't it -- I don't want to undo what I have. I just wish I could spend more than five minutes talking to my sisters. Someday the twins will be teenagers and will hate me and then I'll have lots of time...
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